Sleep associations are often discussed when we talk about sleep, not just for children but also for adults. There is no precise list of sleep associations because a sleep association is simply what we connect with falling asleep and what helps us and our children to fall asleep.
What Are Sleep Associations?
As we mentioned, a sleep association is essentially what a child associates (connects) with falling asleep and what they need in order to fall asleep. Our brain operates on the principle of associations, constantly linking one thing with another.
Sleep associations are activities, environments, sensory inputs (sounds, light, darkness), people, toys, places of sleep, with which our children associate falling asleep.
You can imagine a sleep association as falling asleep:
- by sucking, such as nursing or drinking from a bottle
- with a pacifier
- through rhythmic movements like head nodding, leg kicking, body rocking, etc.
- holding/chewing a comfort object
- rocking/shaking
- gentle stroking
- holding a hand
- holding mom’s hair
- looking at a light in the room
- in darkness
- while watching TV
- listening to an audio story
- mom singing
- being positioned by mom in a specific way, especially when the child starts rolling onto their stomach
- white noise
- swaddling
Sleep associations are thus activities with which we parents help the child fall asleep, but they are also activities through which the child can fall asleep without parental assistance.
Are There Any “Bad” Sleep Associations
Sleep associations are not inherently good or bad. Like everything, nothing is black and white. My role is not to tell you which way of falling asleep is correct. For each family and each baby, it might be something different. Some parents have their baby sleep in a separate crib from the start and use swaddling, while other moms prefer the breast or a pacifier.
In the early stages of a baby’s life, we as parents influence which sleep association our child uses to fall asleep. If we understand how a child’s sleep works, we also understand how the method of falling asleep and the specific sleep association can affect the child’s sleep itself. If you want to know in detail how sleep functions in newborns and after the first sleep regression, read my article “The Way of Falling Asleep Matters.”
How sleep associations work
Before the first major sleep regression, sleep associations do not have as significant an impact on sleep and frequent waking as they do after the first regression. It is not true that a newborn cries to manipulate us. Therefore, I recommend responding to the needs of the newborn and fulfilling them. Of course, even at this age, we can start taking specific steps to ensure that sleep after regression is as problem-free as possible. I cover specific recommendations in my lecture on newborn sleep.
Simply put, sleep operates on the principle of sleep cycles. Each sleep cycle consists of different phases of sleep. At the end of each cycle, there is a slight awakening (in children and adults alike). This is the moment when a sleep association affects the intensity of the child’s awakening.
If the child has the same conditions upon waking as they did when falling asleep, they continue to sleep. If not, they wake up more fully and call out to us to recreate the same conditions they had when they fell asleep.
Therefore, it is up to us to make informed decisions when putting the child to sleep. It is perfectly fine if a mother decides to nurse the baby to sleep and is aware that the baby will need her help to fall back asleep several times at night. It is equally fine if a mother decides to separate nursing from falling asleep, thus supporting the linking of sleep cycles for the child. Each parent has their reasons for making the decisions they make.
Of course, there are times when the sleep associations the child has no longer suit us, and we decide to change them. This is precisely what I focus on in my counseling, so we can make changes sensitively with regard to the child.
If a sleep association does not suit you, change it.
