We put our babies to sleep in many different ways. It could be breastfeeding, rocking in our arms, placing them in the crib, using a baby carrier, or many other methods. Right from the start, it’s important to note one key point: There is no right or wrong way for a baby to fall asleep. Each method is beautiful in its own way.
Sleep is a primary biological need for all of us, just as essential as food.
How Sleep Works and Its Connection to Falling Asleep
The way a baby falls asleep can impact how well they sleep through the night. Baby sleep (and ours too) works in cycles that alternate between REM and NREM sleep phases.
REM Sleep
During the REM phase, sleep is lighter, and we are more easily disturbed or awakened. Most of our dreaming happens in this phase. During REM sleep, the body is paralyzed, but babies will rapidly move their eyes even though they are closed (Rapid Eye Movement). Studies have shown that significant brain development occurs during this phase. For newborns, REM sleep makes up about 50% of their total sleep, gradually decreasing as they grow older, with NREM sleep (deep sleep) starting to dominate.
NREM Sleep
NREM sleep is deep sleep when we sleep soundly. NREM sleep has three stages, during which the baby is harder to wake. In stage 3, for example, the baby is nearly impossible to wake unless there is a strong stimulus. During these stages, the baby may experience confused awakenings or night terrors.
Stages of NREM Sleep:
- Stage 1: The baby is transitioning into sleep, is easily woken, and is dozing.
- Stage 2: The baby is asleep and harder to wake. Their heart rate and body temperature begin to drop.
- Stage 3: The baby is in deep sleep, and their body temperature drops even more.
These phases cycle regularly, even in our little ones. When one cycle ends, a brief awakening occurs, during which the baby checks their surroundings. They often need everything to be as it was when they first fell asleep. Here’s where the problem lies: if they don’t find things as they were when they fell asleep, they wake up (often crying intensely). This could happen every hour or every two hours during the night and can cause short naps, known as “catnapping,” during the day. We call this a “sleep association“—the way a baby associates their sleep and re-sleeping with a particular method. Some babies are more dependent on their sleep association than others.
The way your baby falls asleep can influence how interrupted their sleep is.
Baby Sleep Cycles (Daytime)
After the 3-4 month sleep regression, babies gradually start entering the NREM phase of the sleep cycle first, followed by the REM phase, repeating in cycles. Babies most often wake during transitions between these phases around 10:00-11:00 PM, 1:00 AM, 3:00 AM, and in the early morning when sleep is lightest. The deepest sleep usually occurs between bedtime and midnight, followed by a moderately deep sleep cycle, with the lightest sleep between 4:00-6:00 AM, when even a small noise can wake some babies.
As the baby grows, their sleep cycle evolves and gradually extends from 40-45 minutes to about 90 minutes by preschool age. Daytime sleep cycles are shorter, while nighttime cycles are longer. This might explain why your baby wakes every 30-40 minutes during the day but every 1-2 hours at night.
Is frequent night waking normal for babies? How many awakenings are okay?
Physiologically, brief awakenings during phase transitions (from cycle to cycle) are normal and natural for everyone. Babies wake up for various reasons at night, and it’s not always hunger. That’s why “nighttime parenting” is an essential part of the early months of your baby’s life. The way your baby falls asleep also affects how often they’ll need this (or another) method to fall back asleep at night. If your baby falls asleep while breastfeeding (which is perfectly fine), you should expect that they might need to nurse again to fall back asleep during minor or major awakenings, possibly quite often. On the other hand, if your baby falls asleep next to you with singing and gentle stroking in the crib, they are more likely to connect several sleep cycles independently since they did so when first falling asleep. In that case, they might wake only 2-3 times instead of 10.
Your baby needs to feel your presence, but they are also smart enough that, if they know how, they can move between sleep cycles without your help. If they need some help, they will call for you.
Normal Baby Sleep – How Many Awakenings Are Too Many?
It’s important for parents to have realistic expectations about their baby’s sleep based on their age. Don’t expect your 3-month-old or even 1-year-old to sleep through the night. It’s perfectly normal if they wake up a few times. Studies have shown that babies who sleep in the same bed as their parents wake more frequently at night (Hysing 2015, Hayes 2001). Babies who fall asleep in their crib and fall back asleep after eating (not while eating) tend to have less interrupted and more stable sleep than those without these habits.
According to Hysing’s 2015 study, most babies aged 6 to 18 months wake 0 to 3 times at night. Another study by Paavonen et al. found that about 75% of babies wake 3 times a night. This level of waking is considered normal. If a healthy baby or child wakes more frequently, it’s likely due to a sleep disruption caused by a sleep association, inappropriate routine, poor sleep hygiene, or a health issue. While some children may sleep through the night at this age, it’s still normal for them to wake up.
Each child is unique in what they can handle, and every parent has their own perspective on what feels right for them. Keep in mind sleep regression periods or sleep disturbances due to illness or the parent’s needs. They’re still children, after all. However, long-term frequent night waking can be considered pediatric insomnia or a sleep problem due to a disruptive sleep association that may need to be addressed.
Studies confirm that improving sleep quality for the entire family enhances the relationships between mother and child, father and child, and mother and father. This is because both parents and the child are more rested, less irritable, and can enjoy their days rather than just getting through them while tired.
Sleep is a science, and many factors influence how our children sleep, such as:
- Sleep hygiene
- The method of falling asleep
- Sleep environment
- Current stage of psychomotor development
- Health (e.g., reflux, colic, allergies)
- Structure of daytime sleep
- Attachment, parent psychology, family background, and more.
I advocate for a balanced approach to sleep. Therefore, I would never claim that waking up 10 times a night (or every hour) for a healthy baby is acceptable, nor do I believe it’s necessary for babies to sleep through the night at a young age.
Sources
- Adair R, Bauchner H, Philipp B, Levenson S, Zuckerman B. Night waking during infancy: role of parental presence at bedtime. Pediatrics. 1991;87(4):500-504.
- Anuntaseree W, Mo-suwan L, Vasiknanonte P, Kuasirikul S, Ma-a-lee A, Choprapawan C. Night waking in Thai infants at 3 months of age: association between parental practices and infant sleep. Sleep Med. 2008;9(5):564-571. doi:10.1016/j.sleep.2007.07.009
- Tikotzky L, Sadeh A. Harefuah. 2009;148(5):342-348.
- Schwichtenberg AJ, Goodlin-Jones B. Causes and correlates of frequent night awakenings in early childhood. Int Rev Neurobiol. 2010;93:177-191. doi:10.1016/S0074-7742(10)93008-0
- Stefania Sette et al, Predictors of sleep disturbances in the first year of life: a longitudinal study, 2017
- Paavonen EJ, Saarenpää-Heikkilä O, Morales-Munoz I, Virta M, Häkälä N, Pölkki P, Kylliäinen A, Karlsson H, Paunio T, Karlsson L. Normal sleep development in infants: findings from two large birth cohorts. Sleep Med. 2020 May;69:145-154. doi: 10.1016/j.sleep.2020.01.009. Epub 2020 Jan 20. PMID: 32087408.
- Hysing M, Harvey AG, Torgersen L, Ystrom E, Reichborn-Kjennerud T, Sivertsen B. Trajectories and predictors of nocturnal awakenings and sleep duration in infants. J Dev Behav Pediatr. 2014;35(5):309-316. doi:10.1097/DBP.0000000000000064